NEW YORK — Neshama Carlebach says she is figuring out how “to both love and not love” her father.

Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, a spiritual leader and musician whose soulful melodies penetrated the hearts of people across the religious spectrum, is the man who made her into who she is today. A singer and composer in her own right, Neshama, 44, first shared a stage with him at the age of 15. She refers to him having been her “best friend.”

But something has changed since the rabbi died in 1994 at 69.

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